COMMITMENT - Jan 2011
I’ve been looking lately for commitment, or at least signs of it. I’ve seen signs of two kinds: commitment of family when times are painful, and commitment to community.
I’ve witnessed multiple times when family members have remained loving, reliable and truthful when life got ugly or painful. I know parents who have stayed committed to a son or daughter despite bad behavior. These parents try desperately to love their child, despite truly awful and angry behavior. Sometimes that commitment can mean not having healthy boundaries, rather than recognizing that boundaries can be the very love someone needs. Sometimes commitment means changing tactics in order for love to express itself.
I remember family members who stayed close to the bedside when a beloved family member was dying. It may seem obvious that we should do this when death has arrived, but there are plenty of loving family members who are deeply uncomfortable around the pain and shock of death. It can be a real challenge to stay close to death, particularly if illness is prolonged. Love is often found at its greatest experience when we face pain, even when that pain means death is accepted.
I have also witnessed, even this month, commitment of church members to their beloved community. Such an expression of commitment defies all politics, whoever is in the pulpit, at the helm of the board, or how much money is pledged. The kind of commitment I’ve witnessed, at MVUC and other UU churches, is not for personal gain. Although some personal benefit may be involved, these people are committed to the welfare of the institution. They want it to be alive and thriving for future generations. I’ve seen this love in the founders of MVUC and in the faces of those who have signed their names to the long list of members since its founding.
It matters to whom and to what we’re committed. It doesn’t have to be a long list, but it does have to be a loved list.
I remember family members who stayed close to the bedside when a beloved family member was dying. It may seem obvious that we should do this when death has arrived, but there are plenty of loving family members who are deeply uncomfortable around the pain and shock of death. It can be a real challenge to stay close to death, particularly if illness is prolonged. Love is often found at its greatest experience when we face pain, even when that pain means death is accepted.
I have also witnessed, even this month, commitment of church members to their beloved community. Such an expression of commitment defies all politics, whoever is in the pulpit, at the helm of the board, or how much money is pledged. The kind of commitment I’ve witnessed, at MVUC and other UU churches, is not for personal gain. Although some personal benefit may be involved, these people are committed to the welfare of the institution. They want it to be alive and thriving for future generations. I’ve seen this love in the founders of MVUC and in the faces of those who have signed their names to the long list of members since its founding.
It matters to whom and to what we’re committed. It doesn’t have to be a long list, but it does have to be a loved list.
